I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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