conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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