i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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