So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
