You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
