I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
