South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
