I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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