he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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