In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
