What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
BRING THE BAGELS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
