All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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