I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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