i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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