you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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