in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
