I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
