Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
