Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
