I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
