Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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