you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
