I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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