he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
