i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
