Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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