You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Randomize
