Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
