our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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