yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
