sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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