Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize