ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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