I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Help. Why am I so naked?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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