Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
