K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You're like the curious george of whores
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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