This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
