And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am one with the molecules
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
