are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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