Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
