Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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