Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
