I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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