I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
