I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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