let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
