bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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