I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I party with great urgency now.
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