So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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