My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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