let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
