I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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