I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
