So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
