i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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