dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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