That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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