seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
