Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
