You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
