so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
