She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
