She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
