i don't like sucking hair
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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