what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
