Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
