haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
