Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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